September 2024
Phyllis Shragge
As I end my phone call, I glance at a sheet of paper on the kitchen counter. The paper, which was blank just minutes ago, is covered from top to bottom with 3D cubes. Obviously, I’ve been doodling without realizing it. Barely a smidgen of white space still exists, such is the extent of my doodling.
I hardly recall picking up a pen, but I must be responsible for these coherent and angular lines forming tight 3D shapes. I blame this doodling on my subconscious. Certainly, my conscious mind cannot be held accountable for all this cube-creating nonsense.
Once I determine that my subconscious is to blame, I decide to turn to an expert whose name is Google.
According to Google, there is more than one interpretation of doodling cubes. Apparently, drawing 3D cubes indicates the ability or attempt to see all sides of an issue.
Well, thank you Google. I consider this ability to be positive. I like to think of myself as nonjudgmental and open to varying points of view.
Another analysis of cube doodling suggests the doodler has a desire to be constructive or is currently efficient and analytical. This positive interpretation bodes well, and I think it applies to me. Or does it?
And then I read on. Doodling cubes can be a common sign of feeling trapped or powerless to resolve a situation that one wants to control. Ahaa! This makes sense. Of course, I want control, and certainly over more than one situation. Who doesn’t?
Thankfully though, when I pause and reflect, I decide I’m in the normal range of all this and I’m not concerned about a possible OCD diagnosis.
And yet, I wonder, what’s with all those 3D cubes?
As I consider the various interpretations of cube doodling, I realize this last bit, about control, resonates the most with me.
We all wish for control over the important things in our lives, but let’s face it, in most cases, we don’t have it. We try to control our diet, we can commit to exercise, and we can do our best to sleep well, yet out of the blue our health can go awry. We can try to raise our children to be the best people they can be, but so many factors play into their development. When it comes to external factors that may upset us, like current worldwide events, we are powerless.
We are tiny pinpricks on the global map. Most of the world has zero control over the initiation of war, or its outcome. And as far as politics is concerned, we wish for control in this realm, but unless we are actively involved, our influence is restricted to a single vote.
No wonder I doodle 3D cubes. Control is elusive, sometimes frustratingly out of reach, but it’s important to me. Shouldn’t all of us have some power over our lives?
Do we have control over anything? Generally, we have control over our own decisions, but outside influences have more power than we care to admit. Sometimes we have control over how we proceed with our day, feeling optimistic or down in the dumps, but only if we haven’t been bombarded with calamities, real or perceived.
We can look at the world with a cup-half-full mentality when all has gone well, but often we’ve had personal challenges that paint our world black.
We can work to control our reactions to disagreements with friends and family. Are the slights in our heads or are they real? We can try to control our patience and our tempers when things don’t go our way. We can attempt to control our spending. Do we really need that so-called bargain?
And ultimately, we can try to control our expectations in general, being realistic without losing our optimism.
What I want to control and what I can control seem to be at odds with each other, thus throwing my subconscious mind into turmoil. Or so it seems. I guess doodling cubes is my subconscious’s way of coming to terms with this reality, but at least I’m not turning to drugs or drink. What are some 3D cubes in the scheme of things?
